Gardensickness, plant burgers

On gardensickness, which is like homesickness, but greener around the gills.

I’m in England, and I’m gardensick. There are many lovely things about coming home – family, friends, those little steamed buns in Wagamama – but I long to be in Bulgaria. I wish I was beside our (new) pond, watching the dragonflies and water boatmen. Picking rhubarb and blackcurrants and strawberries. Checking my seedlings every five minutes to see if they’ve grown since I last looked.

There was much skiving off work before I left.

I was in the veg garden every spare minute, planting out seedlings. In went the beets, chard, parsley, dwarf beans, climbing beans, chillies, courgettes, winter squash, fennel (first time growing it), and lots of nasturtiums and sunflowers (which I grow in the veg garden). The last of it planted about two hours before I left for the airport. I still have a blister on my palm. RTI, repetitive trowel injury.

While I’m gone, Rob is tasked with planting the tomatoes in the greenhouse and generally keeping everything alive.* When I’m back, I’ll plant out the basil and oregano (which were too small last week, even for this tough love gardener). I’ve also got to find a home for my asparagus seedlings, but that’s a story for another day (spoiler: we’re planning a second asparagus bed).

It’s a wrench, leaving the garden, even in good hands.

Twenty minutes before the taxi arrived, I went out to the garden for one last, longing farewell. A bit dramatic when I’m only gone for 12 days, but that’s me. What a perfect (or perfectly rude) time for the raspberries to reveal their first ripe berries. We ate them straight from the cane, while I repeated for the 84th time how hard it is to leave the garden in June.

Since I’m not eating from the garden this week – have I mentioned I miss my garden? – this week’s recipe is one from the archives for barbecue season.

*Other things Rob’s in charge of while I’m gone: keeping my kombucha scoby alive; making sure the elderflower wine doesn’t explode; remembering to put my homemade ginger beer in the fridge so it doesn’t explode; making yoghurt; and feeding my water kefir grains. Our kitchen is 90% fermentation lab. Fizzy, with a chance of explosion.

What to make this week: incredible plant burgers (a batch-cook session)

Not going to lie, this recipe has many things to send you running in the opposite direction. There’s the lengthy caramelising of onions. A couple of slightly weird ingredients. A long chill in the fridge. And then steaming? If I saw this recipe online, I’d be tempted to skip over it.

And yet … and yet … these are the best homemade plant burgers I’ve ever made. And I’ve made a few. Just look at this burger and tell me it doesn’t look incredible.

The texture is somewhere between a fake meat burger and a bean burger. So it’s a bit squishy, but has much more bite than your average bean burger. It’s got a slight meatiness, but is packed with plants. It’s the perfect middle ground.

I’m so proud of this recipe. Yes, it takes a little time and effort, but it’s worth it. It makes a big batch, and the burgers freeze really well – make them now and you’ve got burgers for the next couple of months.

Makes 10 burgers (or 8 if you want them bigger)

• 2 onions

• 500g mushrooms

• 1 beetroot (medium-large, supermarket pre-cooked ones are fine)

• ½ tsp liquid smoke (optional but very good)

• 1 tbsp soy sauce

• 2 tbsp nutritional yeast

• 2 tsp onion powder

• 2 tsp garlic powder

• 1 tin black beans, drained

• 1 tin kidney beans, drained

• 175g vital wheat gluten (see notes)

Blitz the onions in a food processor until finely chopped (see notes if you don’t have a food processor). Fry the onions gently in a little oil, with a good pinch of salt, for around 20–25 minutes.

Meanwhile, blitz the mushrooms and beetroot until finely chopped.

When the onions are caramelised and smelling gorgeous, add the mushrooms and beetroot to the pan and continue to cook until all the moisture has cooked off the mushrooms (at least 10 minutes).

Add the liquid smoke (if using), soy sauce, nutritional yeast, onion powder, garlic powder, and some salt and pepper. Cook for another minute or so, then set aside to cool slightly.

Blitz both sets of beans in the food processor. (Actually, I like to blitz the kidney beans into a mush, and then lightly pulse in the black beans so they retain some texture. You do you.) Add the beany mixture to a large bowl.

To the beany mixture, add the slightly cooled vegetables and vital wheat gluten. Combine thoroughly, using a sturdy wooden spoon at first, then get your hands in there. Knead roughly for a minute. In fact, give it a few punches – it’s good for the texture, and your wellbeing. (If you wanted to create a super-meaty texture, you’d thoroughly knead and punch the dough for 10 minutes. But since I’m not looking for a fake meat texture – just a firmer texture than your average bean burger – a brief punching session is fine.)

At this point, the mixture should mostly come away clean from the bowl and form a solid ball – if it doesn’t, add another tablespoon or two of vital wheat gluten. Pull at the dough and the texture should look like Freddy Krueger’s face (see pic below).

Yum

Chill the mixture in the fridge for two hours.

Flour your work surface and divide the mixture into 10 (or 8) equal balls. Form each ball into a burger shape.

Wrap each burger tightly in foil and steam for 45 minutes (see note). Leave to cool fully before unwrapping them. At this point you can cook the burgers on the barbecue or freeze them. 

If freezing, arrange the burgers in a single layer on a tray (or if you have to double stack, separate the layers with a sheet of greaseproof paper). Once frozen, pack the burgers into a freezer bag. They can be cooked straight from frozen.

Notes

• Blitzing the veg and beans in a food processor saves time. But if you don’t have one, mash the beans by hand and grate the veg.

• Vital wheat gluten is readily available online, including on Amazon. Regular flour WILL NOT achieve the same texture.

• Nutritional yeast is widely available in supermarkets. It adds a deeply savoury, slightly cheesy note to dishes, and is brilliant on popcorn.

• And sorry about the steaming process but it’s essential for a firm texture. I have a cheap two-tier bamboo steamer that I got in a Chinese supermarket. You could, at a push, fudge something together with a colander and lid but you’ll probably have to steam the burgers in two batches.